5 Ways to Get your Relationship Out of a Rut

It doesn’t take long for a relationship to start feeling ‘same-y’ and repetitive – and it usually starts with the sex.  If you’ve moved in together, this can be greatly accelerated and before you even know it you’re having a mid-life crisis at age 29.
 
It’s not easy to put the spark back into a boring relationship, but if you take the time to do a few things differently, it can have a huge effect.
 
Here are five ways to get your relationship out of the rut it’s in: 

1)     Get freaky

A quickie is a great way to put a little bit of spark back into your sex life.  Chances are that if you’ve been having the same 12 and a half minute routine for the last few months, you’ve both got a few unfulfilled fantasies brewing. Start by looking around for interesting places in your house that would be suitable for surprise sex.  Whenever your partner nears them, make your move, or just say something like, “I’ve always liked this kitchen counter.  Let’s have sex on it.”  Two out of three times, it works every time.
 
Alternatively, if you’re feeling a little more adventurous, there’s nothing that will put you back into someone’s fantasies than fulfilling one. Go for a night out, get yourself both good and drunk, and break some taboos you might have had. 

2)     Cancel Date Night

 
Having a regular night of the week to have couple time is a one way ticket to boredom. Make a reservation for dinner on a random night and get a babysitter if you have kids. Make it a place you’ve never been, and make sure you have the time to stay out all night. Pay the babysitter before you leave, so that doesn’t kill the mood when you get home. 

3)     Stop Arguing About Stupid Stuff

 
If it can’t be solved, or if it’s the same fight over and over again, you guys need to sit down together and figure out how to stop bickering about it.  It’s just not worth it.  If you have to bring things up, keep it relevant to you and things that can be changed.  Instead of looking for things to pick out, rather focus on complimenting your partner.  This will make it a lot easier to talk about something you need. 

4)     The (Damn) Kids Again

 
If you have children, they take up a large portion of your life. Make sure that this doesn’t include the bedroom, and spring for a babysitter at least twice a month – it’s worth it to remind yourselves that you’re a couple as well as parents. 

Make sure your bedroom is a toy-free zone.  Teach your kids that they can come in, but that it isn’t a place to play.  As long as there are toddlers or action figures around (hopefully not at the same time – kids can choke on those things), it’s hard to get intimate with a GI-Joe wedged between your cheeks. 

5)     Don’t Forget to Touch

 
Physical, non-sexual touching reinforces the affection and bond we have with each other.  Men get a little more from this transaction than women do, but it’s an important part of being in a relationship.  If the only time you ever touch each other is when you’re having sex, the rest of the relationship ends up being a platonic friendship.
 
picture credit link: mobster girl