Can Your Relationship Survive Cheating? Seriously?
Many doctors and scientists and relationship experts have tried to pinpoint exactly why some people cheat on their loved ones, and they all reach relatively the same conclusion: sh#t happens!
Realistically, we, as human beings, are creatures of desire as much as we are anything else, and the need to have sex, being one of our few base needs, leads to multiple desires which, when given opportunity, we’re sure to see through.
Some say that a person is only as loyal in a relationship as their options. So far, this is a very hard adage to disprove. For when you’re wanted by someone sexually, when someone is throwing the goods in your face, it takes more will power than sense to outright walk away.
Those claiming to be the strongest in their faith and convictions are often the ones most likely to have those cheating skeletons hanging in their closet. And if they haven’t done anything in the physical, perhaps because natural selection makes it difficult, you can bet that their minds wander a mile a minute, having fantasies that would make your average porn star blush.
Perhaps the supposed do-gooders are all like anti-gay Republicans. You know the type – lashing out against homosexuality while attempting to get hummers from random boy-toys in airport bathrooms.
There’s a lot of hypocrisy surrounding this issue, and there’s a lot of mystery as well. The mysterious part being, of course, knowing how not to cheat, because we all certainly know how it’s done and how easily we can have a little bang-bang behind our significant other’s back.
One question is often posed in the face of cheating: can a relationship survive it?
Say that you’re an average woman, leading an average married life with your husband. You have kids, a nice house, and a seemingly nice life. Suddenly, you receive the news that he’s been sticking his tinkler in everything with a pulse. Or perhaps even worse – one of your friends or employees or someone else you know. Could your relationship survive this?
Each woman is different, obviously, but there are a few factors that usually come into play when speaking about cheating recovery.
First and foremost, it has to do with how strong-willed the woman is. When you’re cheated on, there’s a lot of shame and an awful stigma that comes with that. You’re known as the woman who couldn’t keep her man satisfied. You’re the girl that got cheated on! It’s embarrassing and painful, and you may often start blaming yourself, especially if the affair happened under your nose.
To get a sense of what it takes to resolve a cheating issue, just take a look at one of the most famous cheating scandals in history, brought to you by President Bill Clinton and then First Lady Hillary Clinton.
Even before Clinton was President, ole Billy was sticking his willy in anything that moved, sometimes even when it begged him not to! Although many presidents are sure to have secrets buried, Clinton is the only one accused of outright rape and cheating multiple times during his tenure.
Hillary borrowed the line from an old country song and decided to stand by her man. She weathered the storm and was called every conceivable name in the book and had to stand there and watch as her husband was drug through the mud—rightfully so—by every Tom, Dick and Harry with a radio show.
There was never such a scandal in history, and Hillary’s exposure was far greater than any average woman’s.
Some speculated she stayed with Bill because it would be bad for the country for her to run out on him. Well, if this were true, she would have fled as soon as the presidency expired. She didn’t. She’s still with Bill today, proving at least on the surface that she loves him dearly and wanted to save the relationship, even if he was catching BJs in the Oval Office.
On the opposite side of the spectrum, you have Tiger Woods’ wife, Elin Nordegren. After a strange phone call came in about a wrecked SUV, a passed out black man in a ditch, and a Thanksgiving holiday gone awry, the news broke that Woods was not only cheating on Elin, but he had a bevy of bought-and-paid-for beauties all over the globe.
Tiger was swinging his club all over the place, making sure to end up in the rough whenever possible. This was too much for Elin to bear. She didn’t even try to save the relationship. The pain and anguish and embarrassment was simply too much and she divorced his cheating behind and stuck him for the millions she was entitled to.
At the time, Woods was the most famous athlete on the planet, and his family life was considered to be the quintessential picture of an American family – strong, stable, devoted, and loving.
As this façade quickly fell away, so too did the love Elin felt for her husband.
What can we learn from the two different women? Well, you can take away that relationships are a very personal thing, and it’s up to the person cheated on whether or not they think love is worth another chance.
Some men can change, some cannot and will not. Women have to make this call and figure out what it’s worth to them to save the relationship.
As a universal rule, women should probably abandon the relationship if the man is a cheater. There’s just no way you can ever trust him again. Once they cross that line, the ship has literally sailed. And it’s not just the time they got caught. You have to imagine just how many times he’s cheated or, at the very least, how often he’s wanted to cheat since being with you.
But this rule isn’t written down in stone somewhere. Some relationships can be saved. Now, of course, there’s no possible way to tell if Hillary and Bill are actually in love even if they are together, but it’s a safe bet that they are. The relationship might not be “saved,” but it’s obvious that Hillary, like many women out there, is attempting to keep it strong.
If it’s worth it to you to save the relationship, then you’ll have to work it out. If it’s not worth it, run for your life and turn your back completely on the cheating scum.