Do you think it’s Crazy to Consider Open Relationships?
Have you ever felt trapped in any relationship? It happens to the best of us. Even two people seriously in love get fed up quickly with things like bathroom habits, the annoying little baby voice, a messy counter, and so much more.
When you’re with someone for any prolonged period of time, things that would otherwise only slightly bother you absolutely start to drive you mad. It gets to the point sometimes in relationships that you do not even want to see your partner, much less have sex with them.
This doesn’t mean that the love isn’t there, but we all know that familiarity breeds contempt, and perhaps no one is as contemptuous as a long-time lover.
Some people decide to break the monotony of monogamy by entering into “open” relationships. Yeah, this sounds scary at first thought. It’s like some 1970s sweaty, cocaine-drenched orgy, where you get too stoned to talk and watch 4 John Travolta wannabes tag-team your wife while she screams louder than you’ve ever made her (don’t ask!). But having an open relationship and being a swinger isn’t necessarily the same thing. (Although being a swinger is certainly “open.”)
Some people are able to give their hearts to one another, to live together, to raise a family together – they just don’t believe that being monogamous is the right move for a relationship, so they see other people.
Does this sound a little too crazy for you to try? Well, you wouldn’t be alone. People involved in open relationships are a minute fraction of society. In fact, it is major news with someone famous comes out to say they’ve been in this type of relationship. The world takes a collective gasp when someone like actress Tilda Swinton proclaims that her relationship is “open.” And when Scarlett Johansson came out against monogamy, her status and sex appeal actually dropped.
That means even guys at home getting off to posters of Johansson’s cleavage weren’t really crazy about Scarlett being open to banging any guy she wants. In their fantasies, Scarlett belongs to them. (Maybe they’re stalkers in training, but the fact remains her fame dropped dramatically.)
So, what about your relationship? Do you think an open relationship is something you could handle?
Right away, most guys balk at the idea. Even though they love the thought of being able to screw whoever they want and still have their dinner cooked for them, the insecurities of having their girlfriend or wife tossed around by someone with a bigger love stick absolutely sends their stomachs to their ankles.
But it’s not only low self-esteem that would cause this reaction. It’s love. Although it’s more of a societal principle than anything biological, being in a one-on-one relationship is something that most of us are used to and fully expect, and to have our partners cheat on us or even suggest they want to be “open” to other partners is a scary notion.
An open relationship isn’t only about having sex with other people, although that would be a big part of it, obviously. It’s more about fulfilling a person’s particular wants and needs. Perhaps a man can’t simply do any and everything to satisfy a woman physically and emotionally, or vice versa. This is how the topic is often brought up.
Think about it: an open relationship is like taking that whole “seeing other people” aspect of a relationship and simply incorporating it into your existing relationship. Most couples partaking in open relationships still know where their bread is buttered; they just like to get butter-knifed by multiple people.
At the end of the day, most skeptics would assume that there’s no way the bond between lovers in an open relationship could be as strong as the bond as lovers in a monogamous relationship. Is that true? Well, who’s to say?
No one can really tell. It’s not like very monogamous relationship goes off without a hitch, and it’s not like every open relationship ends in disaster.
This is something that would have to be personal to you and something that’s mutually accepted. You should never attempt to stay in an open relationship simply to keep your partner. Doing some extra chores, spending some extra money, sacrificing your free time – these are how you bend. You don’t suddenly let your husband or wife start banging other people to “save” the love.
It has to be personal. And by that token, it’s obviously not a type of relationship that’s for everyone.
You know what you want out of life because you’re the one living it. But just remember this: society has no bearing over who you love or how you love them. You don’t have to fit into anyone’s predefined frame of what you should be. If you ever wanted an open relationship, then you should go for it. If you don’t want it, then please never bring it up as long as you live. Any answer you get will suck.