How to Get Dates Online

Getting a date online isn’t the same as it is in real life.  Whereas in a bar you can use body language, expensive cologne and your credit card to woo women, you only have two tools that you can use in an online environment: your brain, and your profile picture.

This advice is mostly for the guys.  For the girls, sadly, it is still mostly the case that the only things you can do to increase your chance online are to have a good looking profile picture, and to avoid mentioning Twilight in your bio.  Under no circumstances should your bio pics include cats or dogs – that’s what Facebook is for.

For the guys, however, here are some top tips for getting more dates online:

1)     This is not Facebook. It’s important to remember that there is a great deal less beating-around-the-bush when everybody has paid for a month’s subscription to a dating site.  Everyone is single, and everyone is looking.  Keep this in mind, but don’t treat anyone like they’re easy meat.

2)     Use your words Cheesy pickup lines won’t usually work, and since the first contact you’ll have with someone is usually an email or instant message, you better learn to be good with written communication. Avoid smileys and ‘text speak’, because the chances are it will put most people off.

Learn to write in your language, and learn to write well. If you grew up using chat rooms, you’re probably already familiar with how to handle this.  If you were more of a jock in school, you’ll need to learn how to woo women using your brain.

3)     Stick to the ‘Three Email Rule’ Three emails is what it should take to set up a date.  Not a ‘we should go out sometime’ date, but a ‘McLarens, Tuesday, 9pm’ kind of arrangement. If it takes longer than that, you risk ending up in the online version of the ‘Friend Zone’.

The first email should open up the conversation by commenting on something you both have in common (based on your profiles), the second should be a clear expression of interest, and the third should be ‘I know this great place near where you work...’

4)     Be honest, but not self-deprecating. One of the most unattractive qualities in a man is a lack of self-confidence.  If you work in a bar, say that, and don’t apologize for it. If that’s a deal-breaker for a girl, she’s probably not for you.  If she doesn’t care what kind of a job you have, the only thing that will turn her off is you appearing to be ashamed of what you do for a living, how much you earn, or what you look like.

5)     Don’t look like a douche in your profile picture. The duck-face thing.  Just stop doing it. Don’t show off your abs, and don’t make that silly goofy sexy face.  It might work for some people, but the majority of potential partners will be a major turn off. Put up a variety of pictures – even some that are slightly unflattering (but make sure if they’re unflattering that you at least look like you’re having a good time).

If you end up getting a date, but disappoint because you look nothing like your profile, there won’t be a second date.