Is Porn Really Killing our Sex Lives?

Women are as sexual as men, make no mistake about that. They’ll load up the rabbit with fresh double-A’s and have an all-night thrust fest whenever they feel the need, and a lot of them will definitely check out some porn to get their motors running.

But let’s speak about the guys out there and their porn habits. Why are we going to pick on the men only? Well, while women might have an occasional internal itch that needs scratched, guys are different beasts entirely. Men are like little zoo wank monkeys, flinging spunk all over the place. If it was socially acceptable, men would jerk it at the bus stop, in line at McDonald’s, and probably even on a date while looking at a woman’s chest.

From the time boys find out that their pisser does more than piss, they’re jerk-off specialists in training. They’ve tried it every which way you could ever imagine… and then some. And now that the Internet has provided men with the ultimate in visual stimulation, i.e. 24-7 porn, masturbation has increased upwards of 500% in some cases. Literally! Men in front of their computers rub one out at hourly intervals.

This has led to some men being wholly unable to perform with the real thing, and it makes some of us feel as if too much porn is really killing our sex lives.

Is porn really detrimental to a man’s sex life – more importantly, is it detrimental a couple’s sex life?

To find out the real answer to this, you first have to look at how a man gets aroused and has sex. Although a man has many erogenous zones, most men only care about the finish and couldn’t really care less about foreplay or anything sensual when it comes down to it.

While it is true and will always be true that nothing will be better than the real thing, it still doesn’t stop men from wanting a cheap fix every now and again (or every 15 minutes).

Porn won’t replace the smell, the touch, the true feel, and the passion of a woman, but it will suffice to satisfy a man’s cravings.

Visual Stimuli

A man’s sex drive is extremely visual. If you’ve ever heard the term “spank bank,” then you already know that, even while laying in a dark room late at night, men need vivid animation in their minds to keep them mentally aroused.

When they receive this stimulation via Internet porn, it starts to take over as their main stimulant and essentially places a real woman on the backburner.

Why? Well, just look at all the options. With Internet porn, a man can switch from average breasts to huge mega knockers in a click of a mouse. He can go from women dominating men to a gangbang scene where 12 dudes splooge in the face of a seemingly unwilling skeet dumpster.

This type of stimulation is reprogramming a man’s sexual appetite. Being with a real woman will still trigger a greater response in his body, causing unparalleled stimulation, but the performance will ultimately suffer.

The chronic porn-watching masturbator will be too preoccupied with the visual instead of the physical. He will also seek a controlled release, meaning that he will want to be in control of orgasm instead of giving in to the ebb and flow of love making.

Lack of attention

Men wanking too often to net porn also lose their grip on how to mutually satisfy partners. Even when they try, they simply can’t muster the will to please a partner. Take oral sex as an example. While a man may actually want to get a woman off and make her feel good, this is an act that quickly becomes boring to this type of man, and he will ultimately go through the motions of sex without any true emotion.

Just like men form a love map which predetermines the type of women they’re attracted to, they can also reform their sexual desires to the point that any activity they must participate in doesn’t mentally or physically arouse them like watching it on a screen.

It’s not all Bad

Porn isn’t necessarily a bad thing, and neither is masturbation. People who masturbate are generally healthy and happy, especially in a relationship. And porn can be a great way to express sexual fantasies. But, at the end of the day, too much of a good thing is really a bad thing.

Men should realize that too much porn—too much masturbation in general—will leave them ill equipped to handle real-life sexual scenarios. They will still be able to perform, but they simply won’t be any good at it. Watching porn isn’t practice in any way, shape or form, so don’t fool yourself.

Being able to fully satisfy a woman is something most men strive for. And the better the lover a man is, the more sex he is going to have. Women wanting to be satisfied will literally throw themselves on sexually-competent men. For the men spending too much time sticking their keys together, however, they will find the door of great sex closing on them, perhaps even permanently.

Sex is something that’s natural, but that still doesn’t stop many people from feeling ashamed about not only the act but also the desire.

Shameful, Shameful Sex – Are You Guilty?

When we’re still young, dumb and full of… well, whatever we’re full of, we don’t really feel shame about anything. As we age and learn of what we “should” be ashamed about, however, the shameful waters rush over us like we’re standing under a waterfall.

Little boys don’t know what shame is, especially, and have no trouble whipping their tackle out on a whim. It isn’t until they learn that “size” is a big deal that they keep things under wraps.

Girls are usually oblivious to shame as well until they’re taught otherwise or until nature causes some embarrassing changes.

There are plenty of things we learn about ourselves that make us feel ashamed as we age, but some people never feel quite as much shame as they do when dealing with sex.

Sex is something that’s not only natural but actually required in order to propagate our species. Take away our base needs to eat for sustenance and to seek shelter for safety, all that’s left is an urge to spread our seeds (in men) and to nurture our motherly instincts (in women). The proverbial biological clock is unavoidable. It ticks within us all. Why then should “sex” be something millions of people are ashamed of?

Let’s look at it a few different ways and attempt to put on fingers on exactly what causes people to be ashamed of sex.

Religious Indoctrination

Almost every religion with a supreme, all-seeing, all-knowing ruler calls for abstinence until marriage. Some religions, like Islam, actually make it a sin to even think about sexual relationships, while others like Christianity make it a sin to practice the safest and most natural act of self love – masturbation.

Now, we’re not out to dis religions, but they’re awfully fickle, and the more we learn about them, the more we’re finding that they have no basis in anything even remotely close to reality. And that’s not even mentioning the supreme hypocrisy that comes with worshipping a supreme being.

In most Muslim cultures, their idea of “sex” is completely against the grain of human evolution. For starters, it’s socially acceptable to marry within your family. That’s kinda gross, for starters, but it goes more to show you that “sex” isn’t really anything but a way to make babies; it’s the man-wife axiom that’s of more importance.

Under Sharia law, rape victims are forced to marry their rapist, and if their rapist is already married, the victims are gently stoned to death by a righteous crowd. What does this have to do with sex? Well, it empowers men to take what they want from women without consequence, and it makes women feel ashamed of even being women. Per this religion, women come in 12th, behind goats and straw huts. It’s not very liberating at all.

This isn’t nearly as prevalent in the western world, but Christianity has still forced millions of people to feel ashamed about sexual activity. While it’s not as brutal, there’s still a “God doesn’t love you” mentality pushed by people preaching abstinence only and testifying that all should wait until marriage to experience sex.

This indoctrination does nothing but force people to feel ashamed about their bodies and about their desires. Usually, it results in one of two scenarios: a person either lives life as a prude, or they make all the wrong and uneducated decisions that lead to a lifetime of pain.

One thing all religions have in common – they offer no reassurance of individual freedom nor do they allow for sexual exploration.

Low Self-Esteem

Having a low sense of self-worth is another reason people may feel ashamed about sex. Again, this is something that’s taught to people. When you’re young, you feel as if you’re perfectly acceptable. It isn’t until people rag on you or until you see the mainstream’s image of “beauty” that you begin to feel ashamed.

People with body image issues, penis size issues, and other issues that may affect self-esteem levels ultimately feel ashamed and are not as socially graceful as others. This leads to people outright avoiding companionship and unequivocally avoiding sex. Some may feel guilty about who they are and what they want.

Cultural Depictions

This ties into religion directly. With so many people in the modern world believing in some sort of religion, the idea of a sexually active person who isn’t married becomes taboo. Guys are “playas” and girls are “sluts” if they enjoy sex.

While there are more and more people today willing to break these social taboos and go their own way, there are still many whom all tuck their heads into their pillows and feel nothing but shame and guilt about any sexual encounter they may have or want.

The idea that sleeping with a man who isn’t your husband makes you a tramp is an idea that has led some women down a wrong path. Especially when it’s taught in school via “abstinence” sex ed instead of informative sex ed, more and more girls are acting without knowledge and end up turning guilt and shame into a sense of revenge against sexual oppression.

For every person in the world, it’s important that one’s sexuality is embraced if you want to experience true freedom and true passion. A lust for life is important to all people, as we’ll only get one life.

Every single measure to make sex a taboo has backfired majorly in some form or fashion and has left society a lot worse for the wear. Without true feeling and true expression, we’re teaching each new generation that sexual feelings are something that needs to be repressed. If we were only honest with ourselves and with our children that sex is something that’s natural and actually needed, we would equip them with the knowledge and the confidence to approach their looming feelings and desires without the guilt and self loathing.

This is something that’s going to be extremely slow to change, even in a more progressive culture, but it’s important that the change begins to happen on an individual level. For every single person embracing their sexuality, someone else will feel as if there’s no need for the same and guilt.