Is your partner really your friend?
In the world of dating, which – let’s be honest – is never as easy as magazines and TV shows make it out to be, it pays to be in a relationship with someone who is firstly a friend and secondly a love interest. If you don’t share common interests and don’t support each other as friends – what are you? Two strangers who sleep in the same bed?
In a healthy relationship, you should never have to question where you stand with your partner. You should never have to fear about your emotional safety and you should be able to tell your partner anything in the world, without fear of being belittled or written off. This is just the same way you should feel with your best friends.
It boils down to genuine affection and goodwill. Both you and your partner should want nothing but the absolute best for each other and there should be no jealousy, back-biting or unnecessary drama. Do you and your partner celebrate each other’s successes sincerely? If you don’t – your partner could be a bad friend, and even worse partner.
Think of the situation – you’ve just started dating and you’re battling financially. You make a lot less money than your partner and you do the best you can to have a good time with them, within reason. But what happens if your partner suddenly starts suggesting you do things that you can’t afford? Yes, going to a musical show with an attached dinner is a magical evening – but if you can’t afford it, you can’t afford it. As with good friendships, it’s vitally important that your partner is able to take your life into account. They should know and understand that you don’t have the money and if they weren’t willing to pay for you, then perhaps doing something a little cheaper would be more considerate?
Unfortunately, these little things can build up in relationships too. Over time, they can scour out huge canyons in your relationship and you might end up hanging on the relationship for no reason other than you know nothing else. Maybe this time your partner will change, maybe they’ll become more considerate. They could, but the chances are quite high that they might not. And you have to be aware of this.
Is your partner really a frenemy? This can happen more easily than you think – many people find themselves in this kind of situation before know it. Here are a few questions you can ask yourself in order to find out whether your partner might in fact be a frenemy:
- Are you genuinely happy to see this person and do you look forward to seeing them?
- Is your partner genuinely happy to see you?
- Do you walk away from a date with your partner feeling happy, better-for-it and ready to take on the world?
If the answer to any of these questions is no – you might have a poisonous relationship on your hands. Yes of course, relationships have their ups and downs, but if there are more downs than ups – you need to look at your relationship honestly. If your partner is not building you up and making you feel good about yourself in the process – your partner could in fact be a bad friend.
If your partner is not adding to your life as a friend, confidante and lover, then what are they doing?