Real Online Dating Stories: Dead Pool

Never let anyone tell you that nothing interesting ever arises from online dating. Now, of course, you may be thinking that those “harmonious” commercials you see are a fair representation of dating sites – and they may very well be. But be warned: that’s not the only version of dating.

Sometimes, it’s not all about holding hands and falling blissfully into true love. Sometimes, well, things go extremely bad.

Take Thomas from Virginia, as an example. After meeting Vicky on an online dating site, seemingly hitting it off and deciding to meet, Tommy was more than gung-ho about his possible future with the beautiful brunette chock full of southern charm.

The two had been “dating” via the Internet for about five months before they finally decided to initiate first contact. Both here were divorcees, Vicky having two children from her previous marriage and Tom having enough emotional baggage to fill a Greyhound bus.

Thomas and Vicky, only living 20 miles apart, decided to meet in a small Italian restaurant out in the county. Vicky had a sitter for her kids, and Tom had some nice roses and five months worth of pickup lines at his disposal.

The couple hit it off brilliantly at the restaurant, and after a wonderful dinner, stimulating conversation and some flirty touching, Tom was invited back to Vicky’s to meet the kids.

He followed Vicky home in his car and she walked him to the front door upon arrival. When there, however, Vicky’s older daughter, a feisty 12-year-old Luanne, was none too pleased about mom’s date and immediately began throwing a fit and screaming for him to go home.

Vicky said to Tom, “I’ll handle this. Take this and wait on the back deck for me,” as she handed him a bottle of wine.

Tom, shaking off the initial onslaught from the welcome wagon, smiled widely as he walked to the back yard and checked out the surroundings.

He saw a large pool, a back patio with a grill, and two suspiciously glowing eyes in the distance.

Tom sat the wine bottle down on the patio and proceeded out past the pool to find these glowing eyes.
Convinced it was a small dog, Tom called out for the animal, “Here, puppy – come here boy.”

As he made his way closer to the back of the pool, the animal suddenly shrieked at him, leaped onto his chest and, as Thomas was convinced, tried to kill him.

Not able to see clearly in the dark, Thomas grabbed the animal and threw it to the ground as hard as he could and immediately kicked it into the pool.

Vicky came out screaming, followed by Luanne. The spot lights came on and, floating motionless atop the pool, was Luanne’s kitten, Oscar.

Apparently, Oscar didn’t like Tom either. And as Tom was driving back home that night, he learned that Vicky didn’t much like cat killers.