The Three Secrets of a Happy Relationship
Odds are you probably know of at least one happy couple out there. Yeah. You know them! Just think about it. They’re the hand-holding, PDA-showing, smiling happy people that make you want to puke. Okay, now that we’ve established that you know who they are, let’s be honest about it: you secretly wish you were just like them. Don’t you?
It’s okay to admit it. Hell, we all strive for happiness – maybe not gut-wrenching, make-your-friends-hate-you happiness, but happiness nonetheless. So, all the crap aside, how exactly do you reach that point with your partner?
Some people see happy couples and believe the whole thing is a façade. They’re so cynical and jaded that they honestly believe that these couples are only happy for appearances and they take the gloves off when they get home. Well, this might be true in some cases. You can never make a sweeping call like that. But some couples are truly that happy and do not have the normal problems that others have – or at least they do not allow the normal problems to fester and grow until they threaten to spoil the relationship.
What is it about these couples that make them so damn happy? What exactly are they doing that you’re not doing with your partner?
You’re not the only one wanting to know, either, so don’t feel like you’re missing out on a widespread trend. Even science wants to know how some couples are able to always be happy. That goes to show you that it’s kind of rare; most couples are plagued with problems, whether it’s about kids, finances, faithfulness, sex, or even something as trivial as a dirty home.
There has been a lot of research done on the matter, and studies have shown that the happiest of couples usually do have “secret weapons” they use in their relationships. It’s something that takes a lot of effort to do, to be happy; it just doesn’t work out that way on its own.
The happiest couples out there are sticklers for details and make sure that they’re always addressing one another’s needs. This means sacrificing a little bit to get a lot, and this is probably the biggest reasons why you don’t see happy couples everywhere you turn. We’re selfish beings by nature, and it takes a concerted effort in order to change that.
Here are three “secrets” of a happy relationship.
Throw Away Your Wish List
It’s very common that, while in relationships, people attempt to change their partners. They create lists of things they “wish” their partner was, like richer, thinner, more accepting of your family and friends, more open to what you want to do or be, etc. And while it would be lovely if your partner would suddenly see things your way, it’s important to remember that this isn’t a relationship.
Instead of striving for what your partner could be, the happiest couples give up on that wish list and accept their partners for who they are. Instead of trying to change them, they focus on ways to improve the overall relationship.
In any relationship, your natural proclivity is to argue over your space – your overall domain. You want to protect yourself at all times, and this means speaking louder and meaner than your partner. This is how simple arguments break out into all-out fights. You might even end up on some War of the Roses type nonsense if you’re not careful.
Happy couples employ quick fixes when they argue. Let’s say that the trash bin has been piling up for days, and your girlfriend is screaming at you to take it out. You then start to shout back that you’ve been doing this chore for years and maybe she should kick in and help. Well, this is when things can get a little out of control if you don’t put a stop to it.
A “quick fix” is simply something you do that quashes the argument and helps you to move past it. For example, taking the opportunity to collect yourself and to make a joke about how the trash is starting to smell like your feet might result in some laughter instead of a fight. More than that, though, just take the trash out and suck it up.
Sex as Something Fun, Not as a Chore
Based on what society tells us about sex, the slow music should start playing, you should both roll around in the thralls of passion, and you should climax at the same time. This leads many couples to treat sex like a chore, wherein it is their “duty” to create passion from thin air.
By taking a fun, whimsical approach to sex, not being afraid to laugh and simply having a good time, sex then becomes an activity that you do together instead of something you’re attempting to do to one another. This is a great weapon to use in order to keep your relationship flowing smoothly.