Ups and Downs of Love: Is Your Relationship What You Want?
There’s something special about weddings, about two people committing to each other so passionately and so resolutely. Weddings are the pinnacle of most healthy relationships.
The decision to spend the rest of your life with someone is not something that should be taken lightly, nor is it something that can easily be remedied with a divorce, even if divorce rates are getting higher and higher all the time.
And while weddings are wonderful occasions- for many people one of the highlights of their life – weddings are not relationships. If a wedding is a flower, a relationship is a tree. If a wedding is a cup of water – a relationship is an entire ocean.
Long term relationships require a lot of work in order for them to be the best they can be.
Marriage Just Isn't What It Used To Be
The nature of marriage and relationships has changed. It’s not just the man going out and working, while the woman stays at home and makes the house look nice. It’s not about drawing out lists of who does what, or who has what responsibility. It’s about becoming an inseparable team.
A team that can never be stopped no matter what life throws at them. This doesn’t mean that you won’t deal with hardships; it means that you have someone to support you who will do anything and everything possible to make you stronger.
Marriages and long-term relationships are symbiotic relationships, or ideally – they should be. By working together, you can make each other stronger. Your happiness is your partner’s happiness. If you can compromise a little in order to bring about your partner’s happiness and your relationship is working properly, you don’t lose out – you win.
Think Of Relationships Like This
Think of a relationship as two people propping each other up. If one partner does their best to ensure that the other partner is happy, and the other partner does the same – the relationship can become unbelievably strong.
When you reach this level – cutting the grass, taking out the garbage, cooking dinner or doing the dishes no longer become chores; they become expressions of your feeling for your partner. Their should be no question of either partner ‘owing’ the other partner anything, both parties should be working in each other’s best interests.
A partnership is not an exchange of chores or a carefully regimented roster of duties. Nor is it keeping a list of every disappointment or misstep made by your partner. This will do nothing to strengthen your relationship. Also, you cannot have a relationship where one partner carries the emotional weight, while the other might step in to help or sacrifice once every 10 years. That’s not fair.
There is a certain situation where relationships can become twisted, even if there is more than enough love to go around. If the two people in the relationship are in love with one of them, it is never going to work. That is not a partnership.
To be a real, positive partner requires the best parts of friendship, parenting, loving, listening and caring. If you are not getting this, or not giving this to your partner, you need to take an honest look at your relationship and where you see it going.