When Good Weddings Go Bad

Two people falling in love is a wonderful thing. Unless you’ve actually been in love to the point you’re ready to marry someone, odds are you have no idea how great it feels. It’s like love on steroids – you feel queasy and nervous, possibly even terrified, but still incredibly content like your life is starting anew.

With all the nerves, the plethora of alcohol, two families converging, and everything else that’s far from common about the day, weddings can just as easily go bad, and we often see that some do.

When good weddings go bad, no one is safe from the fallout. You might not think so, but plenty of wedding ceremonies go awry every year. Even two people who are truly in love can end up having a no good, horrible, terrible, very bad day instead of that blissful, joyous day you see on the TV and in magazines.

Here are a few stories of when good weddings go bad.

Georgia and Tom

Georgia was a 22-year-old bartender when she met Tom, a 34-year-old, down-on-his-luck writer, frequenting the joint to throw back a couple of shots and to woo the beautiful Georgia with his drunken charm.

After about the third night in, Georgia melted like butter and ended up going back to Tom’s apartment for a night of romance. The two started dating and were extremely hot and heavy for the next few months.

Instead of a traditional proposal, Tom suggested that they run away to Vegas and elope. Certainly not a unique idea, but still something that was well outside of Georgia’s wheelhouse; and even though she always dreamed of a traditional wedding, the spur-of-the-moment excitement led her to an emphatic yes.

They drove a few hours to Vegas and walked right into a chapel. Their “justice of the peace” was a preach-heavy Baptist minister, which gave them both a laugh. Being atheists was something they had in common and something that initially drew them together. So the talk of “god” and “holy matrimony” only really served as giggle fodder for the anxious pair.

Even though it’s an instant wedding of sorts, there was still a waiting period for licensing purposes to make sure everything was legitimate. After a few minutes, Tom happened to notice a bar and decided that he’d “wait it out” while throwing down a Scotch or few.

When the ceremony was ready to begin, Georgia literally had to drag Tom down the aisle. He was completely drunk and attempting to disco dance. Georgia was horrified, but the worst of it didn’t start until Mister Minster started out with “Dearly beloved.”

Upon hearing those words, Tom sharply replied, “Who would ever believe in a sky god?”

The minister looked shocked, yet still continued on. From there, Tom insisted on debating the minister about any supposed god, citing that “there’s not one shred of evidence, yet you guys drink your wine and dunk your heads in water and think the rest of us are crazy.”

Georgia, standing there shaking her head, was powerless to stop Tom’s rant. And what’s worse: the minister started to debate back, citing great miracles of the bible and assuring Tom that he would be spending eternity in hell for his drunken ways.

After telling Georgia that the two have been living in sin to this point, she let go of Tom’s arm, he hit the floor with a tremendous thud, and the minister proceeded to cast out Tom’s demons by holding a cross over his face like a scene from The Exorcist.

The next morning, Tom woke up with Georgia standing over him in some rundown hotel room. The two officially broke it off, and in hindsight Georgia was thankful for the outburst.

Layla and Derek

Derek met Layla via an online dating site and it was basically love at first type. Both were divorcees, middle aged and ready to get on with their lives, and meeting one another in person was instantaneous.

Both in their 40s, there wasn’t much of a guest list when they finally decided to get married. The two-year relationship was full and rich, and tying the knot was something that seemed natural, even if it wasn’t to be as big of an event as the first go ‘round.

The two met at a church in Layla’s hometown to be married in a private ceremony. All in all, there were only a dozen guests, consisting of a few close friends, Derek’s brother and his wife, and Layla’s two teenage children.

Up until the groom kissed the bride, the wedding had gone off without a hitch. But upon leaving to some scattered rice, disaster ensued.

The couple’s car, a black Lincoln Continental with “Just Married” on the back window and aluminum cans strung from the bumper, was being towed away from the church parking lot.

Apparently, the church’s parking lot was shared by a funeral home, and the cops set to lead the procession didn’t take too kindly to the marriage mobile blocking their spots.

But that’s just the half. Feisty and “too much like their father” if you asked Layla, her teenage sons began to argue with the tow truck driver, the police, and even some of the grief-stricken funeral attendees.

As Layla’s son shouted “My mom just got married!” another young man returned fire with “My father just died!” and the two boys were at each other’s throats in the parking lot before one fed up officer decided that pepper spraying that general section of the parking lot was a bright idea.

The dozen wedding-goers wouldn’t have been a match for the packed funeral, but everyone on the east side of the lot was defeated by the overzealous cop and his affinity for excessive force.

When the spray cleared, about 10 people were hacking and gagging, 2 had to visit the hospital, and Layla’s flowers were stolen in a fit of rage.

The two remain happily married, but they refuse to talk about their wedding more than to say “Make sure you have a valet.”